For whom? (誰のために on July 11, 2016)

I've just noticed that today is such an amazing lucky day that overlap two Japanese auspicious days - Ichiryu-manbai-bi (一粒万倍日) and Tensha-bi (天赦日), so I decided to start writing a diary in "Hatena blog" as I've wanted to start earlier.


Ichiryu-manbai-bi means the best day to start as if you start something, it will multiply just like a grain of rice paddy grows into thousands of times more. Tensha-bi means also the best day to do because everyone is permitted to do anything and it will be multiplied.


Now, I am in Malaysia and fortunate that there is still one more hour until the date changes because of the time difference with Japan. I feel relieved once I've written my blog post up to here.


So far I have been posting ultra-short texts and favorite photos on Facebook, Ameba blog, Instagram and the Twitter nearly almost every day. I make it a habit already, so I may feel ill when I couldn't post any of them.


However, when it comes to blog, I start asking myself, "Who in the world would like to read my diary?" I know this quesion comes from low self image and somehow negative feelings arise out of nowhere. I still could write long sentences, but I feel discomfortable and my blog post get shorter day by day. Then I go back to my comfort zone.


How long have I repeated this pattern? Saying "I have to write a blog" become like a greeting and a routine. And all of sudden, I experience a shocking incident this year. I encountered a super article written about two school girls having a conversation at Starbucks by Manato Kumagai. He is such a popular blogger and hit more than hundred thousands PVs every month.


"What is this? What a refereshing impression of the article!!!" Literally as his blog titile, this is at the level of "no longer a diary" and I saw the light. Once you read that in an unguarded moment, you cannot go back to where you used ot be. As I was fascinated to his literary talent, I got addicted completely and read his blog and Twitter articles throughly. 


Why would I get so fascinated? What happend within me? Various questions popped up in my mind and disappeared. His acceptable range is wide from quite strident jokes to subtle play on words that have been backed by the knowledge. You would find interesting as you feel like he takes you around in his own world.


I noticed one thing while I was reading his articles. A blog is not for you to be praised by someone but it is for you to write what you want to write. The same goes to life - It's not necessary to live for someone's approval. I can really tell that to you wholeheartedly.